Birthday Fundraiser

Hey, everybody! Because of work and wedding planning, I’m aware how neglected this blog has been. I’ve returned, however, to tell you that I’ve decided to donate my birthday this year.

Anyone who knows me in real life, or anyone who has visited this blog during Septembers past, knows that I am passionate in supporting a nonprofit called To Write Love On Her Arms. In case you’re unfamiliar, though, this is an organization that helps people struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm, addiction, and other struggles on a daily basis. Through blog posts, campaigns, merchandise sales, and outreach, TWLOHA directs and inspires people to live another day. They recently came out with a tool to research professional help resources in one’s local area.

My association with TWLOHA began in 2013 when I joined the since-ceased street team. I had struggled with mental health issues since middle school, and struggled to find reasons for living. I found TWLOHA and realized that life was worth living, and I was worth so much more than the darkness in my head. Since then, I have supported the organization through merchandise purchases, as well as sharing resources during suicide prevention campaigns. And now, my 27th birthday will be dedicated to paying the favor, even in a small way.

My goal is $500. It isn’t a lot when compared to other fundraising campaigns, and I don’t know what the turnout will be, but I want to try anyway. If you can’t donate, don’t worry! Still feel free to check out their website for daily inspiration and insight. If you would like to donate, though, here is where you can do so.

Thank you so much for reading and/or donating! I promise to do better in posting on this blog in the future once life gets less busy.

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Job Hunting and Depression

This is a post borne out of frustrating daily job searches, articles that talk about how to pick yourself up and keep going, as well as people who think that saying they’ve been in your position will magic away the depression of it all. In places, it may seem harsh. However, I feel the need to write about what goes on in my head so people can understand what I’m going through, and perhaps dispel a couple of myths along the way.

Family and friends ESPECIALLY: This is for you.

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Why My Brain Sucks 9

Back in #6, I wrote about feeling physically ill when I’m happy about something. Now, I’m going to let you in on another way my brain sucks: it makes me miserable just ahead of something that already sucks.

Allow me to explain.

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Why My Brain Sucks 7

In the trash heap I call my room, I examine my options and possibilities.

The new year has arrived, and it doesn’t seem like a whole lot has changed. I would be naive to think everything would instantly change once the ball dropped, so trust me, that isn’t my mindset. Over time, though, it seems there has been a cushion period between the end of one year and a few days into the next year. In that period, people execute the beginnings of their resolutions and are still trying to figure stuff out. After this period, the new crazy starts to come out, and the year is in full swing.

Well, crazy came early, and that’s why my brain sucks.

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When You Do(n’t) Suffer From Mental Illness

When you don’t tell people what you go through, it’s like setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go. You keep your secrets because if they’re too dark for you, you don’t want to drag them down, too. Those secrets start to meld into your identity, to the point where there’s no use in separating them because you lost sight of the differences. If you finally say something like, “I suffer from mental illness,” in front of people you’ve never let into your broken parts, something’s bound to send you spiraling down.

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Stay. Be Found.

In a previous post, I wrote a reflection based on lyrics from Waving Through A Window from the musical Dear Evan Hansen. At the beginning of National Suicide Prevention Week, and on World Suicide Prevention Day, it was a starting point where I shared my own struggles to let people know they weren’t alone. Well, the TWLOHA campaign I’ve been talking about a lot officially ended yesterday, but the message must keep traveling to everyone who needs it. Even though official campaigns are coming to an end, the world isn’t fixed and there are still people who feel trapped inside their own heads.

I want to offer an encouraging message alongside the lyrics of You Will Be Found, also fromĀ Dear Evan Hansen.

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Day 4: What I Was Made For

20170910_215801This is my response card for this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day/ National Suicide Prevention Week campaign, from To Write Love On Her Arms. It isn’t a very big card, so I ended up just choosing a few things to write down instead of writing down everything. And in truth, I was having difficulty coming up with what I would write on the card. After all, there are still times when I feel like I’m not here for anything special. I have to wrack my brain to think of my reasons to stay, which might sound morbid, but rings true for me a lot.

On the fourth day of the week-long campaign, TWLOHA invited everyone to share what they were made for. They encouraged us to take pictures and posting them with a hashtag, pictures of us doing what we were made for.

Since I didn’t have class today, and I woke up when the day was just about done, I wasn’t able to take any pictures. However, I still wanted to contribute something toward the task, and I figured that this blog post would be the next best way to do it. I’ll provide all the things I was made for from my card, but also include what didn’t make it onto the card, yet still rings true. I hope that this encourages you to actively search for your reasons, but to also remember that staying opens you to even more reasons—because you stayed.

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