Taking the Bad with the Good

Good: I got to spend time with one of my best friends over the weekend. We talked life, wedding planning, and watched Bohemian Rhapsody. I finally found earrings I’d like to wear on my wedding day, and they’ll be here in a couple of days. Today’s weather was sunny and lovely, and not too cold, which was great during work. I have also mapped my first D&D dungeon for a campaign I’m testing out on my mom.

Bad: We let too much time pass, and the videographer we were looking into has committed to someone else’s wedding the day of our own. There’s a tickle in my throat that likely means drainage or a cold is imminent. Also, my future husband was told he won’t be needed as a teacher in the upcoming school year.

And now, the bad seems to eclipse the good as it spirals into uncertainty and too many things to consider in one day.

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When You Say “I’ll Pray For You”

When I’m sick or hurt and it’s got me bummed out, I hear your positive sentiment toward my healing and feeling better.

When I’m unsure of what to do in the midst of frustration, I hear your hope that matters resolve pleasantly.

When I’m nervous and need encouragement, I hear your support.

However, when you say you’ll pray for me after I express why I’m an atheist, or why I’m reading material that contradicts the message of your doctrine, the meaning lacks all benevolence.

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Birthday Fundraiser

Hey, everybody! Because of work and wedding planning, I’m aware how neglected this blog has been. I’ve returned, however, to tell you that I’ve decided to donate my birthday this year.

Anyone who knows me in real life, or anyone who has visited this blog during Septembers past, knows that I am passionate in supporting a nonprofit called To Write Love On Her Arms. In case you’re unfamiliar, though, this is an organization that helps people struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm, addiction, and other struggles on a daily basis. Through blog posts, campaigns, merchandise sales, and outreach, TWLOHA directs and inspires people to live another day. They recently came out with a tool to research professional help resources in one’s local area.

My association with TWLOHA began in 2013 when I joined the since-ceased street team. I had struggled with mental health issues since middle school, and struggled to find reasons for living. I found TWLOHA and realized that life was worth living, and I was worth so much more than the darkness in my head. Since then, I have supported the organization through merchandise purchases, as well as sharing resources during suicide prevention campaigns. And now, my 27th birthday will be dedicated to paying the favor, even in a small way.

My goal is $500. It isn’t a lot when compared to other fundraising campaigns, and I don’t know what the turnout will be, but I want to try anyway. If you can’t donate, don’t worry! Still feel free to check out their website for daily inspiration and insight. If you would like to donate, though, here is where you can do so.

Thank you so much for reading and/or donating! I promise to do better in posting on this blog in the future once life gets less busy.

Wedding Post #1: Planning, Dresses, & Stresses

Planning a wedding is stressful enough on its own. You have to come up with a plan and follow it to the best of your ability, all the while preparing yourself for the inevitability that not all will go as…well, planned. You must juggle your own likes and dislikes with the preferences and opinions of others, which are often unsolicited (although much helpful advice can emerge from the fog). Compromise is the name of the game and is often a valuable tool in preventing drama from melting over and causing trouble.

When you have anxiety and/or depression, however, issues become gigantic and deadlines loom like never before—even if they haven’t been set in stone yet.

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It Happened at the Vista

7.17.18June 17th, 2018. I wake up to my 9 AM alarm, tired as all get-out. I didn’t sleep well because I kept wondering why my boyfriend wanted me to up so early. I mean, I thought, “Maybe he’s going to propose!” but it had been almost a week since I came up for a visit to the mountains and nothing had happened. Technically, if he was going to ask, he only had that Tuesday to do so; we had a barbecue planned for the next day to celebrate the engagement (you know, the one that hadn’t happened yet). I knew he had asked my parents’ permission when he came to pick me up the week before, but the When, Where, and How he’d ask me were all up in the air. It didn’t help that he had been keeping me in suspense throughout my visit, kept me wondering when I would experience that wonderful moment.

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Job Hunting and Depression

This is a post borne out of frustrating daily job searches, articles that talk about how to pick yourself up and keep going, as well as people who think that saying they’ve been in your position will magic away the depression of it all. In places, it may seem harsh. However, I feel the need to write about what goes on in my head so people can understand what I’m going through, and perhaps dispel a couple of myths along the way.

Family and friends ESPECIALLY: This is for you.

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Recounting Commencement

My mortarboard!

In my last post, I talked about an upcoming commencement ceremony at my university, the one where I would turn my tassel and formally celebrate my Bachelor of Arts (BA) degree. Now, I’m going to tell you how it went.

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